During our trip to Abu Dhabi last month, I got to catch up on reading the English language daily, The National. One of the topics that caught my eye – and Sarah’s – was an article about divorce in the UAE. Sometimes I read it on-line, but I do love to pick up an actual newspaper.
Apparently the UAE has the highest divorce rate of the region. Authorities don’t want extensive coverage as they feel it makes it look like divorce is “easy” to obtain and people won’t work at staying married. Don’t read between the lines, this is just because an article title caught my eye, not for any other reason.
One of the articles that had to be read because it was entitled, “Couple Split After Bitter Third (emphasis added) Divorce”. Say what? It seems like they should have figured out that it wasn’t going to work before this point. The mother was given custody of the six-year-old twins. What intrigued Sarah was that the father was awarded “custody” of the three older sons, ages 22, 24 and 26 years of age. What amused her was that the article was placed under a photo of a pair of racing camels;
This brings us to several aspects of the divorce and customs in the UAE that I hadn’t really thought about. First, custody of the children – had the younger children been older, they, too might have ended up with the father, however, under one school of Sharia law (don’t ask me how many there are or what makes them different) – under the Maliki school of Sharia, which states that the mother can keep custody of male children until age 11 and female children until 13, until sufficient evidence proved that she was unfit to look after them. The intriguing part for Sarah was that the sons in their 20s would be a part of the child custody battle, even if they still live at home. Apparently “children” live at home until marriage and thus are supported by the parent and are included. Who knew?
The woman was also awarded Dh4,000 a month in expenses. The husband was also ordered to provide a house for them in Abu Dhabi consisting of no less than a bedroom, living room, bathroom and kitchen, all furnished appropriately. Until the house was provided, he was told to pay her a Dh2,500 a month housing allowance. Neither was happy, and was appealing the decision.
It seems that divorce is not as easy as the “I divorce you” three times scenario, especially when there is a sizable dowry, children and property to be dealt with. The couple has to show that they made an effort to reconcile and settle their own affairs prior to coming to court. This makes the final order easier on everyone involved if they do .
The following is basically the entirety of another National article that was published as apparently there were questions that arose after the article that I previously cited.
Muna Al Raeesi, head of legal aid at ADJD, said that when a husband and wife divorced for the first time, there was a waiting period known as “idda”, which is designed to give the couple time to reconcile without finalizing the divorce procedure.
The waiting period lasts for three of the wife’s menstrual cycles to ensure she is not pregnant. If she is pregnant, it lasts until the child is born. If the couple decides to reconcile during “idda” then the marriage contract is restated. During “idda” the woman is not allowed to marry another man.
When seeking a second divorce, or “baynoona sughra”, a new contract is required along with a dowry if the couple decide to reconcile.
A third divorce, or “baynoona kubra”, is considered final.
The exception to this rule is if the woman marries another man and that marriage ends, either by divorce or his death, at which point she is permitted to return to her former husband and can then – if desired – go through the three divorce procedures again.
Ms Al Raeesi said there were instances where couples had tried to seek a fatwa allowing them to return to each other after the third divorce.
She gave an example of a Saudi woman who came to legal aid, who had returned to her Emirati husband after their third divorce. The couple had obtained a fatwa from Saudi Arabia that said the third divorce happened in anger and therefore did not count. But under UAE laws, which follow the Maliki school of Fiqh, this was not recognized as legitimate grounds to ignore the third divorce. The couple took their case to the courts of First Instance, Appeals and Cassation. All ruled that their third divorce counted and they could not remarry.
Ms Al Raessi clarified that in cases where someone states to their partner, “I divorce you three times” or “you are divorced, divorced, divorced”, it is only considered one divorce.She said the three divorces must take place in separate incidents.
Ex-pat couples can also file for divorce her, but because such matters reside in Sharia law courts, I’d think it would be easier to try to file in one’s original home country. There are also a number of articles involving the problems women have once they are divorced, but that’s a topic for another day
Judy and Richard - 1001 Arabian Nights 