During our trip to Abu Dhabi last month, I got to catch up on reading the English language daily, The National. One of the topics that caught my eye – and Sarah’s – was an article about divorce in the UAE. Sometimes I read it on-line, but I do love to pick up an actual newspaper.

Apparently the UAE has the highest divorce rate of the region. Authorities don’t want extensive coverage as they feel it makes it look like divorce is “easy” to obtain and people won’t work at staying married. Don’t read between the lines, this is just because an article title caught my eye, not for any other reason.

One of the articles that had to be read because it was entitled, “Couple Split After Bitter Third (emphasis added) Divorce”. Say what? It seems like they should have figured out that it wasn’t going to work before this point. The mother was given custody of the six-year-old twins. What intrigued Sarah was that the father was awarded “custody” of the three older sons, ages 22, 24 and 26 years of age. What amused her was that the article was placed under a photo of a pair of racing camels;

This brings us to several aspects of the divorce and customs in the UAE that I hadn’t really thought about. First, custody of the children – had the younger children been older, they, too might have ended up with the father, however, under one school of Sharia law (don’t ask me how many there are or what makes them different) – under the Maliki school of Sharia, which states that the mother can keep custody of male children until age 11 and female children until 13, until sufficient evidence proved that she was unfit to look after them. The intriguing part for Sarah was that the sons in their 20s would be a part of the child custody battle, even if they still live at home. Apparently “children” live at home until marriage and thus are supported by the parent and are included. Who knew?

The woman was also awarded Dh4,000 a month in expenses. The husband was also ordered to provide a house for them in Abu Dhabi consisting of no less than a bedroom, living room, bathroom and kitchen, all furnished appropriately. Until the house was provided, he was told to pay her a Dh2,500 a month housing allowance. Neither was happy, and was appealing the decision.

It seems that divorce is not as easy as the “I divorce you” three times scenario, especially when there is a sizable dowry, children and property to be dealt with. The couple has to show that they made an effort to reconcile and settle their own affairs prior to coming to court. This makes the final order easier on everyone involved if they do .

The following is basically the entirety of another National article that was published as apparently there were questions that arose after the article that I previously cited.

Muna Al Raeesi, head of legal aid at ADJD, said that when a husband and wife divorced for the first time, there was a waiting period known as “idda”, which is designed to give the couple time to reconcile without finalizing the divorce procedure.

The waiting period lasts for three of the wife’s menstrual cycles to ensure she is not pregnant. If she is pregnant, it lasts until the child is born. If the couple decides to reconcile during “idda” then the marriage contract is restated. During “idda” the woman is not allowed to marry another man.

When seeking a second divorce, or “baynoona sughra”, a new contract is required along with a dowry if the couple decide to reconcile.

A third divorce, or “baynoona kubra”, is considered final.

The exception to this rule is if the woman marries another man and that marriage ends, either by divorce or his death, at which point she is permitted to return to her former husband and can then – if desired – go through the three divorce procedures again.

Ms Al Raeesi said there were instances where couples had tried to seek a fatwa allowing them to return to each other after the third divorce.

She gave an example of a Saudi woman who came to legal aid, who had returned to her Emirati husband after their third divorce. The couple had obtained a fatwa from Saudi Arabia that said the third divorce happened in anger and therefore did not count. But under UAE laws, which follow the Maliki school of Fiqh, this was not recognized as legitimate grounds to ignore the third divorce. The couple took their case to the courts of First Instance, Appeals and Cassation. All ruled that their third divorce counted and they could not remarry.

Ms Al Raessi clarified that in cases where someone states to their partner, “I divorce you three times” or “you are divorced, divorced, divorced”, it is only considered one divorce.She said the three divorces must take place in separate incidents.

Read more: http://www.thenational.ae/uae/courts/abu-dhabi-legal-expert-explains-the-three-divorce-rule#ixzz3CRTGw9I7

Ex-pat couples can also file for divorce her, but because such matters reside in Sharia law courts, I’d think it would be easier to try to file in one’s original home country. There are also a number of articles involving the problems women have once they are divorced, but that’s a topic for another day

 The Dubai Museum

It was time for a little history/culture, so we took a taxi to the Dubai Museum, located in the Al Fahidi Fort, built in 1787 and is the oldest existing building in Dubai. It’s in a historical area near the Dubai Creek and the trademark skyscrapers are off in the distance (which is a refreshing change).  The admission price is only 3 dh, about 75 cents.

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We didn’t spend a particularly long time in the upper rooms – the heat and humidity were particularly oppressive that day – just long enough to take a few photos. One of the most interesting parts of the fort are the “wind towers” which were the early form of “air conditioning” as it “caught” the wind and detoured it down into buildings.

The main exhibit is reached by entering the “modern” area and heading down a winding staircase. At the bottom you find various displays of “Old Dubai” – traditional market stalls, a Bedouin exhibit, the traditional ways of making a living – fishing and pearl diving are also highlighted. There were workmen working on a “dhow” the larger traditional ship of the area (you can still take rides on these – cruising the Marina and Gulf, some of the less traditional ones have an air conditioned area and offer dinner on board).

The photos are a little odd of the displays as they are mannequins – but I’m sure in the old days people weren’t terribly excited about being tourist curiosities, so it’s just as well.

The last section – other than the obligatory gift shop of course, is the anthropological section where models of ancient sites are depicted as well as artefacts found.

Sari Blouses

A couple of blocks away from the museum, we found the Meena Bazaar area. It’s a bit like India with only a fraction of the people. We of no sense of direction were heading away from it, but before we got completely lost, asked for directions. The lady I stopped was amused as we were heading towards the Hindu temple, not the shopping area (we went towards the tallest building we could see – we guessed wrong, as usual). She kindly walked us over to where we needed to be – we followed her and the lovely scent of the jasmine blossoms she had in her hair. Many of the shops were closed – it was Friday (the first day of the weekend here and many things are closed Friday mornings – prayer time – some places don’t reopen until the evening). The shops have street front entrances; it isn’t an enclosed structure.

A few years ago when I attended Jason (my younger nephew) and Jyothi’s wedding in India, I brought back saris for Sarah and me. The cloth had an extra piece to make a matching blouse. Needless to say, in Belgium to find a place where you can get a sari blouse made was unsuccessful. We picked a shop called “The Fashionista” – if for no other reason than a young woman came out and herded us into the shop – and yes, they did make blouses.

It has always amazed me how people can just pull out a tape measure take the necessary measurements and then whip out a blouse in a few days. Because we did this only a few days before Sarah left, hers was done first, it’s quite lovely. Mine is to be ready this week. The woman wrapped Sarah in the sari to get the full effect, but because she didn’t take the time to pin it properly, Sarah looked rather engulfed by all of the material.

Sarah was concerned about where she would ever wear it, but hey, at least it’s done so she can if she wants to. I’m sure she can call upon Jyothi to help “wrap her up” should the occasion arise in Portland. The “politically correct” atmosphere of Lewis and Clark made her nervous about being accused of “culture appropriation” – really? Anyway, I told her to wear all of the jewelry and doodads that Jyothi has given her to wear with it and say that an Indian woman gave them to her, so what’s the problem? Personally, I’m too old for some of this…